Break out the Wellies

It is time to break out the wellies.  We are moving to NE Fife, Scotland in four short months.  Jeff and I's engagement was only four months.  We got engaged in February and were saying I do on June 9th.  Just one week after finishing my first year of teaching art.  I remember people asking why we couldn't wait until July or August.  Why in the world would we try to plan the most important day of our lives in four short months.  I would smile thinking that we had two monumental years  before, the waiting, the hoping, the crying, and broken pieces of it all.  And after two years of that we were not about wait a single month longer than we needed.  A simple wedding was planned, for an amazing love story. 

So here we are again my friends.  Two years of waiting, praying, inching forward, broken pieces of a plan we thought would unfold in a certain way.  In the middle of an ocean we were redirected in His grace to Scotland.  We are planning on moving in early June.  Just after the older boys finish school and the house is emptied and rented.  We will each take two suitcases and a carry on.  Knowing how I am with goodbyes I will laugh and cry my way through all of this.  What a painful blessing to love friends and family so deeply and  then fly across and ocean to live.

We are so incredibly excited.  It hard to capture in words how much we feel this is the right place for us.  How much peace we have had after such a long surrendering of wills.  The people Jeff has met in Fife have been incredibly supportive and are excited to welcome our family and be a part of this next chapter.

The revised budget is in also.  We are thrilled to know that we are so very close to being fully funded.  We are hoping the remaining comes in full in the next month or two.    Then we will be able to focus on all the things that need to happen to launch a family of five overseas.

Four months seems a bit crazy to make it all happen.  But after two years, it almost feels too long to wait!  If you would like to be put onto Jeff more informative e-mail list or help in anyway please contact him: jeffstables@gmail.com

I will continue to ramble on through the blog. Thanks for staying with us through the journey.  We can't wait to share the next part with you!

St. Andrews, Fife

Jeff has been in Scotland for five and a half days.  We are half way there to hugging him and all asking questions a mile a minute as bags are unloaded and unpacked.  I am sure it will take weeks for all the stories to tumble out.  Weeks to really get a clearer picture of all the people he has met and places he saw.  Until then, he is sending emails filled with pictures.  The Subway in St. Andrews, the oldest tree in Scotland, a seal swimming in the surf, the coffee house where Harry Potter was written, even the first steam locomotive ever invented.  They are taken and sent knowing what his three boys would love to see.  The phone call filled with descriptions of the people he has met.  The people we will serve and live beside.  He knows what my heart needs to hear also.  He said it has been the rainiest winter in a long time.  The pictures are filled with washes of grey in the background.  All the colors of the building muted by the skies.
     The boys and I have stayed busy sledding, and drawing, reading late into the night.  We have poured over maps and pictures trying to be able to picture his travels and our future a little more.  St. Andrews is a small town located in the Kingdom of Fife.  The Kingdom of Fife is located between the Firth of Tay and the Firth of Fourth.  (Try saying that three times fast.)  A Firth is what we call an estuary.  The University of St. Andrews was established in 1413 and is the third oldest University in the English speaking world.  University students make up one third of St. Andrews population.  The oldest golf course is in St. Andrews.  Golf is actually a really big deal, with seven courses in all.  There are two beaches.  The West Sands Beach is where the opening scene for Chariots of Fire was filmed.  There is even ruin of a castle to explore.  Tentsmuir Forest and shore, part of the National Reserve, has a huge towering pines and the beach holds a large population of grey seals.  Scotland has 40% of the worlds grey seals population.  And that is just what we have discovered this week!  We have learned so much of where Jeff's feet and eyes have now been.  Please continue to pray with us as we move forward.  I am sure once bags are upstairs and laundry is humming,  once the boys are tucked in, we will get to talk and pray, to begin to plan the next parts to this journey.  We will continue to update as we do.
     One more thing we are celebrating here this week is Ian learning to draw hearts and write his name.  It as if suddenly the magic of letter shapes and sounds make sense.  But more than his name, yoda, cat, mom, he has been writing DAD with hearts over and over.

Learning to dance in the rain

      With full understanding that many of you reading this will worry about me, I want to share one of my New Year's resolutions.  All my resolutions tend to address the current things I am being wimpy about and then chart out how I will be less wimpy about those things. 
     
     This particular resolution stated that I will stop wining about rainy days.  Yes, a trite and silly resolution to most, but for me this will be a game changer.  To understand this resolution you must first understand my complete need for outdoor time.  Everyday.  More than once a day.  It sounds childish, I know.  I don't know why it has such a priority in my mind and heart.  I am almost certain my best memories involve the outdoors.  I am convinced that the boys fight less and explore more. We all breath deeper and think clearer while leaves are under our feet and branches hang above our heads. 

    When I am standing in our woods I feel small.  The oaks and pines tower above us, surrounding us on all sides.  It as if outside I am able to realize my smallness next to God's vastness.  His greatness is so much more evident.  His creation so much more awe inspiring then conquering the laundry or crock pot.  I am in His world and not my own.  And I love every bit of it...if the sun is shining, the wind is mild, and the temperature stays above 65 degrees. 

   Ah, you say, there lies the wimpy, conditional, "if" statement.  No kidding, full days and parts of vacations have been mourned if it rains and the temperature drops.  Jeff teases and then worries that weather can have such an effect on me.  We all worried when we read about Scotland's weather. The weather was mentioned as much or more than the castles dotting their beautiful land.  I read and reread that 25% of the days hold sun, only 25%.  I goggled the sunniest parts of Scotland and warmest temperature months recorded.  I then concluded that my silly resolution was not that silly.  And so began one of the best decisions of the year, all sixteen days of it.  To embrace the day outside, no matter the weather.  To hike, breathe, and explore in rain, snow, and wind.  

     The first time I told the boys it was woods time with rain drops still sliding down the windows they stared at me in shock.  "But it is raining!  You despise rain."  Not any more, I replied, this is perfect Scottish weather.  We gathered raincoats and boots and set out, the crunch of leaves muffled by the rain.   
  And we had a blast.  It might have been one of our best hikes yet.  We followed the winding creek further than we ever had before.  And a full hour later as we peeled off wet coats and muddy boots we were already planing the next days hike regardless of the weather.  Now, when rain pounds the ground or the skies mix into a wash of grey I tell the boys, look at this beautiful Scottish weather instead bemoaning the absence of the sun.  Maybe by Spring I will start to look forward to the rainy days as much as the sunny ones.  

    Jeff leaves for Scotland in less than two weeks!  We are still waiting on a revised budget and are excited to see what is next in this wild adventure.  The boys are thrilled about kilts, broad swords, Castles, and trains.  Please continue to pray that we will move forward in confidence and humility.  Pray for important connections for Jeff while he is there and belly laughing and skype time for the boys and I.  We will keep updating as we move forward.  

"For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods.  In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him.  The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land."  Psalm 95:3-5

Another door opens

 December started with loss of a vision.  The creaking shut of something we really wanted.  In the midst of it I knew there was mercy and grace.  I knew this because anything He gives or takes away is wrapped in these two things. I read through the entire series of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, all eight books.  Yes, I set down Madeline L'Engle and C.S. Lewis to pick up Jeff Kinney.  It was all I could take in.  After all the heaviness of the season I needed something light and funny, and Jeff Kinney knows both.  I didn't answer my phone and failed to realize that my voice mail stopped working the week before.  Two weeks into December I realized I could handle L'Engle and phone calls again.  I also found out there were thirty-seven unheard messages on a voice mail I thought was empty.

We shared our hearts in those weeks with friends and family.  I wrote a blog post trying to explain and bridge the gap from our hanging on, to our letting go.  To share the brokenness and grace that was involved in both.  When others asked about going somewhere else we explained that we weren't ready for a "rebound" country.  We were at a place of not being sure if we wanted to go anywhere further than our doorstep.

So, when we received the first word of an opening with Young Life Scotland we were hesitant.  We spoke about it carefully and quietly, once the boys were already asleep and doors were shut.  More calls and emails later Jeff came home and spoke of Scottish churches, youth, and seminary.  The picture came into focus of working along side churches in Scotland in an effort to reach disillusioned teens.  We also saw the chance for Jeff to complete his Masters in Divinity while serving.  Fears and doubts did not surface and swarm my thoughts.  And our hearts stayed at peace with the new direction.  We have looked back to what started all of this.  The bigger map with pins stretched back into our separate childhood and teenage years.  Stretched out to our first stumbles into God's grace and love.  Those things have still not changed.

Quiet frankly it reminded us of what we walked through fourteen years before.  Jeff and I struggled through a broken engagement together. From that year, we know a lot about false starts and broken hopes.  We remembered the temptation to run fast in the opposite direction.  To move on and away from the pain and chalk it all up to just getting it wrong.  But instead He kept me in town for student teaching and helped us walk back through all the pain and fear as he restored it.  He rebuilt what we could not.  We live in the knowledge that our story does not end with our fears and missteps.  It ends with His grace.

We continued through the end of December praying, talking, and reading about Scotland.  There is already Young Life in parts of Scotland.  Young Life staff and volunteers in several places doing great work with the youth and churches in those areas. There is a vision to develop some critical new areas in Scotland and our experience with YL start-up seems to fit. After this past season, the thought of working along side others and Jeff continuing seminary feels right.

Jeff leaves on January 27th for ten days in Scotland.  He will go to a leadership retreat during that time to meet the other Scotland Young Life staff.  He will meet with pastors, priests and schools.  He will get pray with YL leadership at the site of a potential new YL camp in Scotland.  This month we also will find out what the revised budget would be and move ahead in what seems to be happening very quickly.  We ask for your prayers as we walk ahead.  We do not understand why it has all happened this way.  But we don't have to understand it all for God to knit it all perfectly into His purposes.  As always, feel free to email us with any questions or encouragement.  Becca:  Stbbecca@aol.com  and Jeff:  jeffstables@gmail.com

Solid Rock

"It is a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally.  It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand." - M. L'Engle                                                          If grades were given out for the last year I would have pulled in a solid D-.  I don't write this to fain humility.  Only to be honest.  After reading through the written account of this journey I need to clear the air before moving on.  The posts hinted at doubt, confusion, and fears but did little to paint the picture of me flailing about like a fish out of water every time we hit a patch of unknown.  Every time.   

It was as if ten years of very carefully applied ministry make up had to be washed off and I could not recognize the person staring back at me from the mirror.  It is hard to capture in words just how terrifying it is to not be the person you thought you were when the waves come.  The props get pulled down and sand washes away. I was sure much more rock would have been left behind. It is unnerving to stand on the small square of stone left, when you thought there would be a mountain. 

But here is the amazing part.  The part that has plastered a silly smile on my make-up free face.  Even if I had pulled in  solid A-'s and gone through less tissues and late night purge sessions with Jeff, God's love remains the same.  His character remains true even when mine does not.  He promises to provide and protect and guide even if I get helplessly lost during parts of the journey.  The grade book is thrown out, and I am resting in His grace.  Under His grace I get an A.  Undeserved and by His hands not mine.  In that, there is so much freedom.  There is freedom to stop striving for what I thought He had for us.  There is freedom in knowing it is not all about our little family of five anyway.  There is freedom in knowing He loved me before the ten years of ministry and He loves me now. And that His plan is still so much bigger than anything I could dream of.

What the last few weeks have shown me is that He is faithful to wash out the sand and slowly replace it with rock.  He is faithful to take away white knuckled dreams and give us what is better than any desire or sacrifice.  He gives Himself.  We have had beautiful talks with the boys, family, and friends over what is next.  We are excited and resting in what seems to be lining up.  The hushed talks after dinner are not filled with fear, doubt, or striving but with humble expectation.  

There is great mercy in doors closing.  And sweet freedom in realizing He wants every ounce of our hearts rather than straight A's.  There is Joy in finding solid rock and knowing no amount of waves will wash it away.  We continue to paddle forward as a family and we can't wait to share with you what is next on this wild ride.  

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.  And we boast in the hope of the glory of God."  Romans 5:1&2

When a door closes

The door has officially closed for our family to move to Basque, Spain.  For weeks we have held the news close to us.  We spoke to few and tried to process where we are now.   I would sit down to write an update and instead start reading one of the sixty one posts that became pinpoints on a map for us in this journey.  The pins seemed to stretch out from the safe harbor and lead us to open sea.  Basque, Spain being our destination, 25%, 37%, 63% of the way there.  The mailings, dinners, phone calls and sharing of our hearts.  The Spanish words tapped through out the house.  My favorite one, interruptor de luz.  Light switch= interrupter of the light.  In Spain, I thought, we will not turn off the lights.  The light will just be interrupted until morning.  We spoke at churches, had an amazing banquet, there was even an article in the newspaper.  It is still clipped and pressed between a Basque history book and a Spanish book.  We walked our boys through "I don't want to go", to willingness.  Dreaming and planning.  Funding stayed painfully slow.  Those who gave, gave out of sacrifice and love.  For a long time it seemed we stood before a door cracked open.  And what laid on the other side was something we wanted.  We felt called to.  Called out of fears and doubts to step into something so much bigger than our little family.  

The truth is, we knew God could fling wide the doors.  Many things were talked about to make it work.  Jeff ended with Culpeper Young Life and went back to building.  We went off insurance and I bought probiotics and checked out a book on immunity.  We could have waited longer.  We could have and we would have.  You can almost get comfortable in the quiet place of wait.  You get use to the unknowns.  A red pin stuck in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.  But one night staring at the map of these last two years, how far we have come, where the last push pin rests, we knew it was time.  Phone calls to future bosses and mentors confirmed our hearts.  And we grieved.  It was painful and confusing and humbling.

That same night, I told Jeff that I didn't want our boys to see that this humbling place is the result of taking a big step of faith.  How do we explain to others the many variables that all slowly showed it was time to stop pushing forward.  I had thought  that the next blog post was to be of triumph and visas ordered.  The written account of funding reached and us thrilled to finally go.  It can't be this...this redirecting when we are already out to sea and ready to be on shore. Any shore. 

Last week I took Ian to the lake where I collect supplies for my terrariums.

Ian helps me gather the moss and fern each month.  We love our time together exploring the woods and hills with my cake pan and a small shovel.  Each time he holds the treasured mounds of green life so carefully.  His role to to help me find it and hold the the tin as we move along.  When we get back to van he always looks at the pile in amazement.  Always surprised at what we gathered.  "I helped you again mom."  he pipes, and I answer, "Yes you did!  We did it together."  And then he hands me the tin, heavy with broken earth and moss.  With a big proud grin he hands it over because he knows I will make something beautiful with all of it.  He is okay with his small role and he trusts me to do the rest.

The last time we went I took this picture.  Looking at it, I know our story is not over.  It can't be, we are still out in the middle of the ocean.  But I know what we give to God, even when it is painful and humbling or even down right confusing, He will make something beautiful out of it.  We all play small roles in seeking, gathering, and sharing.  He does the creating.  The making new of what is broken.  And there is something incredibly hopeful in that process.

We would love your continued prayers as we seek what is next for our family.  We are still open to Young Life international placement.  For now, Jeff continues to build and remodel, and our family continues to celebrate the majesty of life, and His unknown plans, here in the middle of the ocean.  If you see us in public ask Jeff not me, I still cry and blubber through the story.  If you have given to Young Life Basque, Spain and have not received an e-mail on giving and receiving options please let me know (StbBecca@aol.com) and I will send you information on how to have money returned, redirected, or to simply stay in the YL account until future plans become clear.  I will continue to write and update friends and family through the blog and Jeff will update through e-mail.  Thank you for all the love and support.  We are grateful we are not walking alone.

FAQ about Team Stables in Basque, Spain

Q:  Where is Basque?
A:  Basque is partly in Spain and partly in France.  We will be in the North West part of Spain.  The Pyrenees Mountains, Bay of Biscay, and France will all be within a short drive away.

Q:  When will you guys go?  (this is after they comment that they thought we had already left, or thought we were suppose to leave this summer)
A:  As soon as we raise a very BIG budget to move and live for three years in Basque, Spain.

Q:  Why is the budget so big?
A:  Basque, Spain is one of the most expensive places to live in Spain.  The town where most of the foundation has been laid for work is one of the most expensive cities in Basque.  Example being a three bedroom, 950 sq ft apartment without a view could easily go for $2,000 a month in rent, unfurnished.  Travel for training, language school, and insurance/expat taxes are also a part of the budget....this answer is really much longer but that is the short reply.

Q:  Are the boys excited?
A:  It depends on which one you ask.  Luke is very nervous to leave all he has known and learn two new languages.  Levi is excited about everything.  Ian just asks "What's Spain?"

Q:  Will the boys do public, private/international, or be home schooled?
A:  We are still praying about this.  The public schools are taught in Euskara and Spanish only.  Ian may do this but Luke and Levi have missed the window in age and ability to pick up a new language as easily.  Home Schooling is illegal.  Expats are allowed with permission, but our hope is that we all integrate in the Basque Country fully.  For the two older boys we are considering a government subsidized private school that offers some English or an American School that may change the location of the city we start up in.

Q:  What will you be doing there?
A:  Jeff and I will be doing full time language school for the first six months and then work with the schools and communities to develop Basque leadership for Young Life outreach and discipleship  in the Basque Country.

Q:  Will you sell your house?
A:  We are hoping to rent our house, but praying about it.

Q:  How long will you stay?
A:  We are raising the first three years before we go.  We are staying a minimum of three years or until Basque leadership is in place and the area is stable.

That usually covers it unless they want to know about the surfing scene, foodie scene, or have us explain again why it is so much money.  We love to answer questions.  We are never annoyed and only sometimes discouraged when they come on the heels of "I thought you guys left already".  Please feel free to ask us any new questions or have go into more detail with any of these answers!
Jeff's email address:  jeffstables@gmail.com
Becca's email address:  STBbecca@aol.com